We are Virginia Sole-Smith and Corinne Fay and it’s time for your Indulgence Gospel — Thanksgiving Edition!

We often skip an episode drop on this day, but given how high pressure Thanksgiving can be for food, bodies and people, we thought...maybe you need a little Indulgence Gospel, a little Butter, and a little distraction from whatever your holiday weekend entails?

We've got you:

• A Helen Rosner-inspired fashion epiphany.

• Thoughts and feelings about Black Friday.

• A very good Corinne clothing rant.

• Our secret shame places.

• And more!

You do need to be a paid Just Toast subscriber to listen to this full conversation. Membership starts at just $5 per month!

Don't want an ongoing commitment? Click "buy for $4!" to listen to just this one.

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Episode 221 Transcript

Virginia

Okay friends, buckle up for some good rants. I think this is a nice little Thanksgiving gift, to have a little Burnt Toast in your ears before you deal with whatever this weekend is for you. I hope it's lovely. But it is not always lovely.

Corinne

Should we take a moment to give thanks for the Burnt Toast listeners?

Virginia

Obviously. I give thanks for them all the time! We are very grateful for the Burnt Toasties, and very grateful for everyone who made it over here, from Substack to Patreon. We're now about a month and a half into that transition. And we really appreciate you. 

Corinne

Everything is going smoothly.

Virginia

So let's talk about Thanksgiving a little bit. I feel like this is the time of year where I start getting emails that are like, "I've gained weight and I have to see blah, blah, blah relatives who are going to say a shame-y thing about it." Or, "What do I do when I'm at the table and my mom won't stop talking about her diet?"

Thanksgiving is such a fraught time because there's so much delicious food, and people who are so weird about the food. 

Corinne

When I saw this on the agenda to discuss, I had my own personal panic, because I was like, Oh my God, am I even doing Thanksgiving this year? What is the plan?

At this point in my life, I live far away from most of my family. On Thanksgiving, I'm usually stopping by a friend's house, maybe bringing something. So it's pretty low key, and it's been so long since I've actually had to deal with this.

Virginia

So you don't have to do the big extended family thing?

Corinne

Nope. And I want to say: If you don't want to go to your family's house, you don't have to go. I think there is all this pressure to keep doing things the way we've always done them. But you can change the plan.

And, you know, Thanksgiving is kind of an effed up holiday.

Virginia

What with being rooted in genocide. That's always a tough one.

Corinne

So if you want to change how things are going, you could stay home and make a personal pan of stuffing, which is possibly what I'm doing. Can't say yet.

Virginia

To be clear, we're not recording this on Thanksgiving Day. By the time you hear it Corinne will know what her plans are.

Thanksgiving is not a holiday that I have a lot of emotional connection to, either. My mom is British, so it was less of a focus for her when I was growing up. I don't think the food is delicious all the time, it can be a little bland. I get that people really love their mashed potatoes, and I am not ever here to carb-shame. But that is not my carb of choice. 

Corinne

I love the food. 

Virginia

I'm with Samin Nosrat, who's always like, "Can it be a little spicier? Can it be more flavorful? Can there be a little more going on here?" Thanksgiving can get a little soft and mushy. Not always. I make an excellent fresh cranberry relish that really zings it all up.

But if the way you do Thanksgiving is to always to reopen a bunch of old wounds, or put yourself in front of the firing squad on body toxicity, maybe don't go. Or at least, figure out a plan going into it! Do you have a group chat you can check in with? Can you take your breaks by offering to run out for more ice, or walk the dog? Going to hang out with the kids is often helpful, too. The parents will appreciate that. And if you go be with the kids, then you aren't talking about the politics or whatever the adults are doing.

Corinne

And you can get out some of your rage through running around and screaming.

Virginia

Definitely, yeah. It's tricky, though. And if you're going through it this weekend, we we feel you.

Corinne

I also would just say, no need to stand on ceremony. If someone's doing something weird, just tell them they're being weird. 

Virginia

You're very boundary setting today. I like it. You're very like, Don't go! Tell them they are being weird!

Corinne

I'm just feeling like we have enough bullshit to deal with right now. If someone is telling you about their diet, just walk away.

Virginia

This is not the conversation we need to be having. 

Corinne

Yeah, come on. There's enough hard stuff.

Virginia

I will link to things I've written in the past to give more nuanced scripts, if you want that option. But I'm with Corinne. I think we twist ourselves into trying to come up with the perfect response when the reality is—the other person's shitty comment is creating labor for you. So you can just be unavailable for that labor.

Alright, let's talk about Black Friday. How do you feel about Black Friday? Corinne is our newsletter universe's resident shopping expert.

Corinne

I have such mixed feelings about it.

On the one hand, I love a sale. I feel true excitement receiving all the discount codes. 

On the other hand, do I need anything? No. On the other hand, will I participate? It seems hard to avoid, you know? 

Virginia

Do you try to make a list ahead of time? I often try to have a little note on my phone of big ticket items I've been thinking about. So I'll check for a good sale price on these.

Corinne

That's smart. I have not done that in the past and maybe I should. I think in the past, a lot of my strategy has been to buy things that I restock. So last year on Black Friday, I bought a ton of my electrolyte drink tablets.

Virginia

Sure because that's a line item in your budget. Get a good deal if you can.

Corinne

And I think it could be a good time to buy electronics or whatever. Maybe I'll think about making a list.

I also think it's a nice time to continue avoiding big box stuff, and choose to buy something from a smaller, local store, which maybe doesn't have the same extreme discount, but probably could really use the business.

Virginia

Back when I always sent out holiday photo cards, I would always order those on Black Friday, usually from Minted or Artifact Uprising. All the photo sites have really good sales, so I would lock that in, and then it would mean they would come early enough that I could actually get them in the mail. So they would reach people by Christmas.

Corinne

Wow, that's really smart.

Virginia

It's also a lot of a lot of executive function. And last year I didn't do photo cards, and I felt quite liberated. But also any photo holiday gifts, like, if I'm going to make albums, or get pictures of the kids printed for grandparent gifts, I will take advantage of the sale for that. That's the main thing I usually think to do. 

And if I've been thinking about a new item of furniture or a new appliance or something, if I start thinking about that in September, October, I'm like, oh, let me sit on that and see what the Black Friday sale is. 

I never do any in-person shopping for Black Friday, because I can't do crowds. I’m exclusively talking about online.

Corinne

When I used to do Thanksgiving with my family, we did sometimes go to Target or another place. It was very fun to